Half the Equation

understand the visionary image set out by the amazing creators of wearwhatwhen.com, I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that, while this is a mens’ fashion magazine, it is lacking the female touch. I vow to leave the crucial fashion tactics to those more worthy, but I cannot pass up the opportunity given to express my golden words of advice. Just as in fashion there are many rules of do and don’t, in the world of mating there seem to be too many rules being broken. After hitting the streets of Los Angeles and viciously hunting down the intelligent women (and men), I found a few common complaints. Surprise, surprise, women complaining……. 

The first, and most genuinely upsetting, is that of the missing plant life. It seems these days that no one feels the need to give flowers. What the hell is wrong with you people? Flowers are the easiest way to say, without saying, that you like someone. I’m not talking about the cheesy bouquet of red roses when your date answers the door. Remember not to overdo it either, once in a while is sufficient.  Put some quality thought into it. If your target is girly, give an arrangement of orchids. For a less conventional type, try birds of paradise. Take yourself down to one of those open air flower shops and create something that says “I know your style”. Another key flower giving tactic, only for the serious, is to have them delivered to the workplace. Coworkers rave over flowers, giving an added element of attention to your target without even trying.  

Speaking of attention, there is one serious error in fashion judgments that needs some attention. Gentlemen, please pay attention. Never, ever, ever, wear socks during a sexual encounter. It is best, even if you think you might be getting busy to take them off. Socks on is for high school, rookie sex. Grooming your feet is also a great idea. You all expect your partners fingernails and toes to be well groomed don’t you. Pedicures and manicures aren’t just for women anymore. There is nothing worse then waking up next to someone and looking at their hands or feet and gagging at the thought of having let those nasty things touch you. It takes under an hour and you feel great after. You get a little massage and pampering. You can bring a muscle magazine with you if that helps you feel more manly. For the more daring, a new line of man polish has come out called War Paint, though unless you have the confidence and style to rock it, I recommend you don’t. 

Something else I recommend you don’t do is ask questions you don’t want the answer too. We all know the female species tends to do this, but it’s becoming a fad amongst men also. Don’t think that because you are the alpha male gorilla that you can handle anything. People have a tendency to elaborate on things when they know it gets under your skin so if you aren’t prepared for the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you god….don’t ask! 

And finally I recommend you take note that chivalry is not dead. In this new day and age we have gone above and beyond trying to prove equal rights. I’m all for that but, to play the devils advocate, I also like having a door opened once in a while; not because I can’t do it myself but because it’s a nice gesture. Manners are everything. This goes for everyone.  Each partner should want to go out of there way for each other. You don’t need to throw your jacket over every puddle but keep in mind, one small effort might make the difference between you and the next shmuck.  

Fashion is only half the equation. You have to have charisma, personality, and manners to pull off any type of fashion statement. Sexy is a frame of mind and the clothes are a finishing touch. Hopefully this article has brought some helpful insight and if not, well then screw you anyways….Your on your own. 

For next time…..We’ll be diving into the psychological thought process behind the three day phone call rule. Go or No Go?  

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Complaints?

Go ahead, try me, justine@wearwhatwhen.com

-Justine